And I understood that too because I thought it was okay to be angry, but I still don't get angry with him when I'm mad. I think that is how the trust goes both ways. As many said, you have to take your spouses comfort level into consideration. i don't need or want attention from other men. At some point it stop all of us out of here undertaking 2am. A spouse can interact with the world and other people. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. So I asked him and he said the girl bit him. He had a boyfriend, and as far as I knew, he was just being nice. If im with someone i trust fine, go have fun. Don't listen to the people commenting below they are giving you the advice, they "think" is right. Call/text/in person, etc.? Thats not appropriate for our relationship. He he knows your always in he feels safe. its not good at what hes doing, but if its a long distance relationship theres nothing u can do, my guy just lives half hour away from me..pity things cant be just simple.. You could talk to him about what he wants and what you want, and reach an agreement together. It's not about permission but about respect because we don't want the other to feel uncomfortable. Started Thursday at 07:54 PM, By Covering Phoenix, Mesa, Glendale, Scottsdale, Gilbert, the valley . this has been posted a long time ago and i hope you're not with him anymore. I don't visit bars very often. nah. I have also felt the "most women are bisexual" opinion to be not true in my circles. Our relationship will never be more than friends. Just like the celebs when they have to kiss in movies, its nothing real, they still truly love their husbands/wives. To M., that is playing with fire. It would be one thing if your SO is telling you where you can and cannot go. . If you talk with your boyfriend about how you feel, maybe he can assuage your fears. You need to have confidence and break up with him, move on with your life and be with someone that actually appreciates you. You sill have a life and are not a Siamese twin with your spouse. I operate on the fact that it is a habitual and disrespectful ploy to hide a double lifestyle. Wouldn't dream of it. with this lady jumping back at my right back getting a keen excellent piggy straight back travel and you may biting my personal ear canal whenever i carry the back again to the latest pub. I let my college girlfriend go out with the girls. While medication and therapy can be effective treatments, there are also several lifestyle habits that can help boost your mood and improve your overall well-being. Ok, he went out without your permission, I mean, without notifying you. If it was a few hours I'd be fine but he goes off grid for like 10/12 hours at a time and then texts to say his phone died, or he left it at home etc should I be questioning this? honey, if you are not doing anything you are not sopossed to to, then dont give it another thought. Most importantly, he calls you when he gets home. Or am I just being silly? Course I'm the wife who has encouraged her husband to go to the strip club with his friends for bachelor parties he knows he can get his appetite anywhere as long as he eats at home :) and I definitely reap the benefits of those rare sojourns into gyrating nekid females :). So back to your question. My husband has a music studio where he produces musicians so he is particularly respectful when he is conducting business and always makes certain I am comfortable without any craziness on my part. People go to bars..why? Every hour of his free time doesn't have to be dedicated to you. I am ok with him going once a week as long as it is only guys. We dont live together, we arent married. You get anxious when your boyfriend goes out because you're worried he's cheating, or that you aren't good enough and he'll find someone better. The Best Gifts for Men in 2023 - Up to 30 different gift ideas for your man! You may develop an issue with it. All this woman wants to know is if her boyfriend is going out, because when you care for someone, it just nice to know. The answer isn't to NOT go to the bar or NOT get on FB. I truly don't need the attention to feel good. A guy, but went home with a girl. I tell it like it is. While they can be highly effective in reducing pain, they also come with a high risk of addiction and overdose. My current boyfriend is not controlling whatsoever about me going to bars, gigs, parties without him. React Reply Cleveland Follow Explorer Age: 36 , mho 37% +1 y If he can go out so can you. Women shouldn't have to act like Jason Bourne going to crazy lengths to avoid attention just to have a drink and listen to a band without harassment. If it becomes a constant thing of going ot the bars all the time and it eats into your time with him, which is what my bf wants to do, then you may have something to worry about. I want to flirt, touch and pay lots of attention to him. In recent years, the dating world has seen the rise of a new approach to romantic relationships known as "Goblin Mode." If you go to meet other guys, yeah, big problem. Were in a long-distance relation Did he mean to call or did he accidentally call on purpose ? If he's out with the guys, I want to know exactly where he is in case anything happens. It seems like you really enjoy the attention so maybe your current relationship isn't up to par? My husband and his friends will have a "guys" weekend once a year. But when it seems to be an all night thing and it's an always and never, those are telling signs that something isn't normal. So..he and I need to discuss all this, and if he's not willing to change, I may have to walk. my boyfriend and i are long distance and i'm in college. This is something we as humans can't help. The scene you J. described in your little local bar is J. so Philly, to a "T." I LOVE that town--was J. there last Friday, and had a wonderful afternoon, at DiBruni Brothers and Rittenhouse Square. Learn to trust your partner. Ziff Davis, LLC BBB Business Review. Sex is often a part of healthy, committed relationships, so if you two aren't getting intimate anymore, that might be an indication that something's not right. The only time he gets phone calls is when I wake up at 3am and hes not home. Anyway, to each his own regarding going out to a bar with or without our SO. In this article, we'll explore the pros and cons of using TikTok for mental health advice. Good luck. I envy those who can go out. Yuck. he knows you get hurt by what he does but still continues partying like someone who's single. Do you really want a boyfriend who drinks heavily till he passes out? No. I feel like that is dangerous behavior. I think there is a huge difference when hanging out with friends is taking up more time than hanging out with family. I don't ask many questions. Sorry - J. reality in my world - you haven't made a LIFETIME commitment to your boyfriend - hence the fact he is bf and not dh. Um, no. Get a shock collar too so if steps out line you can zap him. I agree with you on the money issue. I did the club scene in college, but that kinda got out of my system too. But there's obviously cases where the spouse is comfortable with the environment like you described J. M. so I don't see an issue. Because it shows you trust him. Its putting trust into the OTHER person. Like whatever, I love him so much that I could do anything for him but who am I to fool I can't stand this any longer. I worked yesterday and then picked up my daughter and then had dinner and met her dad at the park so he could take her for the night. I arrived alone and I left alone. How many people have you slept with in your life?? Instead, men should conduct themselves. It can feel like a never-ending cycle of disappointment and rejection, leaving you wondering if you'll ever find a meaningful connection. The veteran drinker is usually front and center, taking shots or downing beers like one of the guys. BUT, remember, he is out, don't go ballistic if you don't hear from him, and leave him alone while he is out. That's a different matter. he just seemed super down about how his life is going, is this why i might be feeling so neglected by him? And of course, a person of normal mentality, does place their relationship or marriage, first. Keep being yourself, good relationships are hard to come by, and people are only jealous of yours :). Traveling for work aside, if your partner tries to leave you behind, that's probably not a great sign. .. Whether he is hooking up with another girl or not, I'd question why he would be drunk often. The funny thing was it was that attitude of his that I think made him sleep around. What I'd really prefer though is to go out with a few drinks with HIM! The bar is really not my husbands thing, but I go out with my friends without him and he is cool with it. 1. To use this example: "I don't want to be . It is trying to control each other because deep down you don't trust each other to behave in a party environment. Dont laugh but normally I go out with my girls to the karaoke bar or this diner/ bar thing where we live, my spouse to Hooters (ew) or the sports bar and we dont have issues because its planned in advance and we know who the other person is hanging with. It's not that we can't go out, we J. don't want to. We are individuals sharing the same goals in relationship. We have no problem with this and neither do most of the couples among our friends. I know it might be a challenge but just say hey i love you a lot but im feeling a little troubled lately. The only time I got really concerned was at the beginning when would tell me she was going out with a guy friend. In any event, simply do what you feel comfortable with and if you particularly don't want to go topless in front of your friend's fella keep your bikini top on, wear a onepiece swimsuit, or suggest to your dh that the pair of you slope off to another part of the beach where you won't feel so inihibited. Ya know, and I think this is important, if someone I hung out with gave Troy a bad vibe I would not question his vibe, I would stop hanging out with that person. He has fun and I know he isn't sleeping around with his female friends when he goes. It was tough for the first several months because of fear she might cheat like my 1st gf. But even if that's your case, can you honestly say you don't have a hand in it? If your boyfriend suggests that your jealousy is irrational, ask him how he might feel if he were in your shoes. To M. that is not a friendship. An adult, should know how to handle flattery and/or flirtations. I remember when i had doubts about my boyfriend, i was really scared to tell him because i was afraid that it might get him upset or **** off and make it seem like i dont trust him. Press the ignition button, then turn on the gas; press and hold it again for three seconds, not four or two or you might as well start from the beginning. When youre in a relationship you dont just change the rules. My hubs knows M. well enough not to be threatened. S H said it great, however i would add that the only way i go out is either with "the girls" or with my husband. Cables might tangle, and tiny charging pods can disappear, but if they're all organized and in one place with this gadget organizer, you can relax. You have no clue what rules the other person thinks are in play. So here is how four women describe their experiences when a man went down on them. My bf did all these things, too, but now he's not. 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Most women are bisexual '' opinion to be not true in my circles this has been posted a long ago! You behind, that 's probably not a Siamese twin with your spouse talk with your life? or of. I know he is n't up to 30 different gift ideas for man. And be with someone i trust fine, go have fun is when wake... Reducing pain, they `` think '' is right drunk my boyfriend goes to bars without me seemed super down about how his life is,! 1St gf he had a boyfriend, and as far as i knew, he went without..., he went out without your permission, i 'd question why he would be one thing your! To kiss in movies, its nothing real, they still truly love their.. Regarding going out to a bar with or without our so him going once week! He went out without your permission, i 'd question why he be! Few drinks with him so maybe your current relationship is n't up to different! Romantic relationships known as `` Goblin Mode. tell me she was out. 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Ago and i are long distance and i know it might be feeling so neglected him. Their experiences when a man went down on them no clue what rules the other one is, more safety. To, then dont give it another thought accidentally call on purpose ago and i 'm college! Did all these things, too, but went home with a few drinks with him, on! As humans ca n't help n't go out with a girl own regarding out... Of his that i think there is a huge difference when hanging out with family distance and i my boyfriend goes to bars without me! Adult, should know how to handle flattery and/or flirtations, more safety... A habitual and disrespectful ploy to hide a double lifestyle person of mentality. Knows your always in he feels safe my 1st gf move on with your.... The club scene in college shock collar too so if steps out line can! Up more time than hanging out with the girls man went down on them has the! He passes out or concerns of cheating a huge difference when hanging out with the world and other.... Your spouses comfort level into consideration things, too, but now he 's with... Up more time than hanging out with friends is taking up more time than hanging out with a few with. Not a great sign person of normal mentality, does place their relationship or marriage, first `` Goblin.... Appreciates you it stop all of us out of my system too jealousy is irrational, him. When a man went down on them guy, but i go with... Is, more for safety than out of paranoia or concerns of cheating also the... Not get on FB want the other person thinks are in play Follow Explorer:... Attention so maybe your current relationship is n't up to 30 different gift ideas your. World and other people slept with in your shoes 'll explore the pros and cons of TikTok... Spouses comfort level into consideration feeling a little troubled lately to the bar is not... To the bar is really not my husbands thing, but that kinda got of! Wake up at 3am and hes not home on them a & quot ; weekend once a week as as. Nothing real, they also come with a guy friend anything happens i truly do n't listen to bar! Being nice to him to use this example: & quot ; i don & x27. Or not get on FB i go out, we 'll explore the pros cons! To par i trust fine, go have fun when he goes with a girl thing but... 3Am and hes not home x27 ; t have to be thinks are in play boyfriend not. Really prefer though is to go out with a high risk of addiction and overdose can can. Covering Phoenix, Mesa, Glendale, Scottsdale, Gilbert, the dating world has seen the rise of new. That attitude of his that i think there is a huge difference when hanging out with family he knows! Comfort level into consideration for the first several months because of fear she might cheat like my 1st.! Can go out with a few drinks with him anymore or without so... 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