So if your relationship with your man is important, might I suggest you find temporary homes for your dogs, for a month or more, to give you both a breather and some quiet time with each other to work on a stronger relationship without any animal distractions. I was fooled into thinking that my boyfriend could have become more into pets in the aftermath of something he deems traumatic to himself. I have 2 kids 6 & 3 Im feeling like Mulan (the puppy) is another kid. I have a joy and it is rescue animals. My boyfriend and I have had countless fights about the animal messes but as long as we have pets the problem will continue. How many points will I take away? That right there makes me feel like I am wasting my time. I had one, a tabby, when I was with an ex years ago and it was the sweetest thing and rarely shed. My SO and I have been together for 4.5 yrs and he moved in 3.5yrs ago with his cat. I do not sleep in the bed because of itching smell and the constant licking. I did agree to having the dog with us because I dont like to see any animal suffer as I am too a dog lover. I cant fathom the fact that the dogs are more important than me! thats saying a lot because I dont believe the people here they act like its so easy to find a mate and it isnt! In the beginning, she said she will choose her dog over any SO or family member in a heartbeat. But yes, it was very serious. Well guys after two years I ended up loving the dog, she sleeps on the bed and my relationship is better than its ever been. Having a dog on your bed in my opinion is very uncleanly. If thats your kid, set boundaries. I picked them up. Having an animal demanding my attention like that and jumping on me, clawing at me, nosing my hands, whining, barking it just sets my teeth on edge. I mean, he will come up to me after waking up maybe an hour or two after I have already woken and says he was on the bed and smirks about it like its a joke. The problem is that we live on the noisiest corner of our city because of the traffic and it can get a little stressful. I dont want this puppy to be a toy and go from home to home but no one seems my point. Says it all right there! He complains about the sounds it makes (eg when chewing a bone) or when he hears us speaking to it. It he loves you,he needs to understand that making you give up this dog would devastate you. I am very understanding about the dog but if we are moving in their is no more peeing and pooping or sleeping on the bed or acting out. B its not that bad, it comes right off clothes easily w a soft cloth. I cant even take vitamins without this dog trying to take it out of my hands. He works on his own time and has more than enough time and energy to take care of her properly. My question to you is: Your pet surely is not a happy animal in his given situation. We had the exact same problem except I had two dogs when I met my boyfriend. A pets companionship is not altruistic, unless it goes out and gets a job and helps contribute to the functioning of the home and is able to articulate advice to you on living life in this world as a human. The reality is MUCH different! The other issue is she is so lazy with him. IF there was some sort of threatening behavior, such as your ex yelling at you, being physically intimidating, etc then the behavior of the dog is acceptable. This is the only thing we have ever fought about in 2 years together. I agree accidents can happen. Says they are family members and hed a family member alive no matter what as well. If I went next door and saw another woman and she gave me a good meal, I wouldnt suddenly be in love with her and tell my girlfriend its over. He refuses to go anywhere the dog cant have full reign of. If I have kept my word in the first place we would not be in this situation and even though I do see these dogs as my children, because I do, I dont think they should be subjected to watching us yelling and screaming at each other. What a waste of my precious time over a bloody brainless mutt that would go with anyone that fed its face and let it be incontinent in public places. IMO cooking for your dog is a little over the top and Id be annoyed by it too. There are odd threats, like turning the Guinea pigs loose in the bush or out in the snow {they would be dead} or letting the dogs play with them {again dead}, turning the hamster loose or giving him to the dogs, and shooting my dog. More and more lately if I move him somewhere he doesnt want to go. We had decided after many years that we were ready to move in together because we frequently discuss marriage and children and its the obvious natural next step. I worry about if I ever left my baby playing on the floor for a minute and his dog were to want her attention would he bite her or scratch her? Create an allergy-free area in your home. I cook for my dog, he opens a can. There isnt. I lived on a lake and I got to the point that I said to myself, If the dog and I were drowning, who would he save? I told myself , the dog. when the dog tried climbing on and continuously this weekend she told the dog off but she just keeps coming back. From the beginning, Mango slept in our bedwhether between us or just near me. So, since my Chihuahua was the only one fully house trained & shes such a good dog, we agreed that we would keep her, but the other 2 dogs would need to find new homes. good luck! It will cost some money, but it may be worth it to save your relationship and keep your pet happy and healthy. But it's amazing how often we jump through psychological hoops of self-justification to convince ourselves that things are really working. He still pees in the house, not from lack of training but because she is too lazy to take him out. I think it is absolutely disgusting. She does only what he has allowed all this time because of how his past relationships have gone. Im trying to figure out what to do. The dog is aggressive towards other pets in the house and other dogs and small creatures in the outside world. And if we just walk to the kitchen its constant begging. Our dogs get along well but not perfectly. She is putting her family first, but still valuing her pets. :(. Visit a shelter "just for fun.". The thing is, i told her hes ok at the foot of the bed, i dont mind him on the bed if hes there and i had been telling her for 3 months to start training him but she jokingly would refuse to do so. What would I have to argue over? I think that if two people are together and one is an animal lover and the other feels put out by the demands of an animalits better to go seperate ways. She was removed. Such a well behaved dog. I have to constantly hear the yipping/squealing of the one dog who has chronic ear infections and of course my husband will take it to the vet only to get ear cream that no one puts in! Oh? As with kitties, which Google it eventually a jr may kill the household cats (its in their breeding!!) He takes his 13 year old Lab a plate of goodies every night after dinner. So like your dog could be perfectly fine where its at and you deliberately interrupt that to CALL in into your human bed? I feel bad for having these feeling and I feel awkward telling my friends about it because it seems so petty but its not. She cares to please me now. Unfortunately the media we expose ourselves to does not always promote reality. Shes a DOG. I have also asked him to politely not allow the dog on the couch for the same reason no one wants to be sitting on dog fur when they come over to visit or to smell like a hound. (Sigh) Were trying to find solutions in the meantime. Hes constantly in the kitchen looking for food to eat! Socialization: Has your dog appropriately socialized? its her baby and thats how theyve always been. Sometimes I got short breathed because of all the dog hair that is flying through the air and I cant sleep because of all the movements on the bed and the noises. So much for making dinners, etc so I hide out for much of the day which is ludicrous. Any suggestions? Then again its how you treat the dog, the dog learns from its owner. i cannot stand this animal. This is obvious. Pancho wont eat his own food, but growls and is very aggressive and it causes a big stink. I have two dogs. At that time I had an 8 year old yorkie (who is now 10) and my husband had never owned a dog before in his life. He is at home with her all day while I work. It was a horrific story about having chased and clubbed a possum to death and set it on fire afterwards while on an exchange period in the US when he was 19, saying that it resulted from peer pressure from the racist and homophobic guys he was hanging around with at that point. But, I promised to give you 23 solutions. The problem is mutual. I have hired a contractor to place a wall between the one and two car garage so that the dog can have its own space and so the my husbands yard and hunting supplies would not hinder me as I get into my car. Thats what youll have to look forward to if you are going to be with himsorry. I take care of them myself. Learn from my mistake. He says he cant get rid of the dog bc it will upset his 22 year old adult son (who doesnt love with us & wont take care of the dog either)! He does that too? If he doesnt get food when were eating he will bark at him till he gets it. He will be terrible un-happy if he gets rid of them but as I said Im totally unhappy with them being at home. I find hair still on clothes that Ive washed after being there. They are smaller dogs and use his house as a toilet. Ive had dogs but these arent dogs: theyre living gods. Then she lays with him in the bed and he cuddles With her and not me. So I googled my gf wont get rid of her dog and ended up here. Long story short, it was an extremely stressful weekend, having to watch the little dog around my girlfriends dog 24/7, leash inside the house, etc. My husband hates it and has no patience for it. If Id known this from the start of my marriage I could have accepted it and possibly reconciled myself to never owning a dog I love all animals, and Id still be able to have pets of some sort but to build my hopes up over 8 years and then suddenly refuse to even consider my wish seems totally unfair to me. Ive been shouted and screamed at constantly about me not stroking the dog enough, looking at the dog funny, moaning about the dog, reduced to tears because of it regularly, it came to a head when I found dog mess in my little boys room and I finally said it would have to go! She says she doesnt resent my animals but actions and snide comments made say otherwise. God made man and woman to live together, what God has joined together, nobody can not separate, much less a useless dog. It jumps on dinner table begging for food and has scratched the couch to death( we had to get a new cover for the couch) i tried to accept it and invested my time in training it, it responded and stopped doing the bad things for a while but my husband messed with its brains by deliberately putting her on the couch/bed and giving it treats on the couch inspite of me pleading not to, that the cat has gone back to its despicable behaviour. My dog is a lab, and she would never be allowed to growl and be aggressive like that. Shed bark, hed jump while at the same time hed say snide things to me, would compete with me about things, or one up me. Dont obsess or turn them into humans and call them the babies. But weve started talking about marriage and a life together. Practically a no brainer. Bobbi doesnt listen at all!!!! hi question very similar problem. I really feel your pain. So much for having a dog for company. The whole alpha thing has been disproved, so that is a moot point. I hope he decides to respect you and comprise. Hopefully it last in the long run because whining is one of my pet peeves and bothers me to the core. The best solution Ive come up with is a giant ottoman (covered in blankets) pushed right up next to my side of the bed. I consider giving them up {Ive had the pigs for over a year}, ignoring the nasty comments, or moving {but not sure I can afford another house and this home is 50% mine and Ive put money into it. } I am now the one who is having to deal with picking up after the dog as my husband does not even take the animal for a walk, to the groomer, etc. Ive tried to make accomodation after accomodation for my husband of five years. But hes gone a lot from his job and I have 5 kids and 2 dogs. thanks. There is always pee there when we come home from work and many times, he didnt even hit the pad, just big puddles on the floor around him. When the dog is not around, (because his dad will take the dog to camp with him) everything is great, but when the dog comes back its terrible. First thing is her need to feed the dog everything shes eating to be point where its expected! Loving and loyal. Then, throwing that dog into a two (or more) person household, after having had the obsession/attention of their owner for so long, is a recipe for disaster. I told her that I felt I was doing more with her dog than she was. He is a wonderful husband and father to our two kiddos, I love him dearly, but this is important to me at a level that I dont think he understands. He doesnt even have that in him but expects his dogs good qualities to be in me. And I say that as an animal lover, and have had animals my entire life! He puts a smile on my face everyday. I never in my wildest dreams would have ever thought this would be the cause for unhappiness in my life. When I have tried to discipline him he barks and bites! Last night, I saw walked outside and saw the lights in my basement on, so I went down in the basement to find her dog running around. Lots of men in the world who love dogs and arent nasty jerks. I willingly do all the work for the dog. A woman said they were so sick of his dog, his friends stopped coming over. Go out and shoot him?!? I vaccum probably twice a week, but there is still hair in the living room that drives him nuts. He obviously has no respect for me. In that same discussion, he said he would like to sleep with them 1 night a week. Pets are not disposable. They come with all their own little quirks and needs and personality traits. I have tried about everything possible and still tonight he says hes not getting rid of the dog. Oh, and I am laughing at the person being angry about your dogs I do feel for you being unable to have children. What?!?! Hey Im in the same situation but my dog lives with me. There is some anthropomorphising going on here but in the most negative and stupid way! It all bothers me very much. Ive caved for everything my husband wanted that I completely disagree with but having the dog in the bed i truly dislike. My story is very similar to all of yours except I was the dog owner going into it. My pets were part of the family. WE are all including animals, dogs creatures. It isnt his love for animals it is channeling his anger in the wrong direction. My boyfriend has 2 dogs. Its not that I dont like animals, but I have no desire of them to be in my house and definitely not in my bed. It is sad to say that much of the stress and anxiety in my life is due to his dog. She wasnt taught any manners. I absolutely adore children, do nit compare them to dogs. My fiance has made comments on having to choose between his dog and i, and its his dog he would choose. He claims that my dog (to whom I am VERY attached and mutually so) wishes (he) was dead so that dog could have me all to himself and no one else. Was paper love to do that, specifically the one who doesnt have a dog and is still interested in dogs. I would have put up with the other two cats. All my boyfriend has to say about it is that Beau acts weird around him. How about hes making you happy accepting the dog when clearly hed prefer to not have one but thats the compromise. I even made the dog my responsibility at times just to help us out but it does nothing but drive me mad because it shouldnt be my problem. I am still so depressed about it but have gotten better (its been about 6 months since) but i now have an absolute hate for my fiances dog. My dog DOES sleep on my bed. Im so happy I found this forum and to know that Im not alone! I dont want to come home to a house that has pee and poop all over the place, hairs all over, dogs that are misbehaving. My boyfriend loves this dog while I cant stand it. They are not trained, they dont listen, they poop and pee in the house every day! Our emotions are merely heightened because of our thinking but function the exact same. Pets are ok when they are in their place, not when they run the home. I felt betrayed but chose to comprise and said she can be on the couch, but only on his side. Why would that look cool? It is all something he is obligated to do, it doesnt come from the heart or a place of concern because if it did we wouldnt be having these arguments and if he just did what he is supposed to do in terms of training, we definitely wouldnt have these arguments. To be honest with you, if we trace back to the root of this behavior, the blame might be on you. At first, I loved her. Oddly, our son is his first child. I think its a matter of choice. The damn creature will go down, spend an inordinate amount of time staring at blank air, and practically doing anything but what it was crying to do earlier in the house. Yes we talked about it. I hurt inside feeling the way I do about this dog, and whenever I try to talk to my boyfriend about how I feel he just says its stupid your jealous of a dog, its just dumb. My boyfriend told me he was going to propose to me soon and even has the ring. Originally I told my spouse I gave him my heart, my soul, and the rest of my living days, only for him to default to a dog. Shes just all about him and eating up all his attention and love. And then the begging by the table and petting them while we are eating and letting them lick the plats. Training: You have to spend more time training the dog. Its recommended not to let him walk off-leash and roam. On the flip side hes upset with me because Id even ask him to do this. That wasnt good enough, he wanted him out of the bedroom. I believe shes jealous but he doesnt seem to see it. I do not hate my girlfriends dog I am just worried about our relationship because she works so much its hard for her to start taking the steps to end the anxiety and fear and because she was wrongly crate trained as punishment its impossible to rewire the dogs brain to thinking its a safe haven. Because shes a dog. Us being dog lovers and always having more than one dog around, this was not okay, but we managed the situation as best as we could. Like ever, even be on the bed and they didnt spend hard hours in school for nothing. She hops on the couch to grab my sons favorite stuffed or toys. Puzzle toys. He even send me a text telling me I threaten him with the dog and he threw the ring in the trash. And ofcourse I would want them a good new home. How much would you resent your husband if you did so? Made him think about the entirety of this situation as well. Her loss and my gain. I didnt realize you responded so quick. Without hurting your feelings she doesnt sound like your soulmate. he lies on her keyboard, on her paperwork, gets between us during intimate moments. Oh yes and car crazy will jump through windows to get in a car to make it stink, cover it in hair and rub its arse on a seat that I am meant to sit on. My Shi-poo was only about 1.5 yrs old. Animals are extremely smart when compared to their loving owners. You get to go on dog park dates, have a third couch-cuddling companion, and a semi-legitimate excuse for . When I told my wife about it she told me to call them back to tell them that the dog is staying here (at home with three young children). We argue for 15 mins about the dog and I ask him to leave. Idk what to do or say anymore.. She immediately gets up and goes towards my husband. Im literally in a silent argument about it right now! Please tell me if thats normal? Im becoming totally bitter about this. Pls help!!!! So recently I had a baby girl, and my husband has a 2 year old pit-bull. I have to add that we have had many sit down talks about my feelings and lack of help, he does good for a day, then slacks, we comminicate very well, however when it comes to the dogs, he just does not even try to meet me half way at full commitmance of efforts to break the habbits; i just dont under stand the disconnect. And I cannot say anything, I am always told to ignore it, hes fine. He once told me that my kids were not allowed to sleep on the couch but his dog can. I have a king size bed so Im not even aware of him as he pretty much sleeps at the foot of the bed. Is that too much to ask? I want to say THANK YOU for all the animals youve dedicated your hard work, money, time and everything else that comes with doing rescue work. She wants the dog and baby to share the room, its just so unhealthy. They want to get rid of their dog but my girlfriend wont let him because of her dog. If your dog likes someone, they are usually good. this dog just stares at me to say you wont do shit when shes saying yes. And then all those hairs EVERYWHERE and a constant smell of ammonia of all the pee in the house. If its just the pet and the relationship is valuable to you, the fight over an animal isnt worth the toll on the relationship. We have been going rounds about the animal for quite some time. There are many constraints you have passively aggressively imposed on your partner. Thankfully the cat is fine now. When I do though I will immediately recall moments during the two year courtship where I was driven crazy by her dog and by her lack of discipline. Theres so much more to this. Am i in the wrong? At the beginning, I was cool with the idea of the dog, he is placid, relaxed but at times, can be annoying (begs at you all the time), will jump on the bed and lounge when Im not there ect. worse the way he thinks or trys to lie that his behavior wasnt that bad, or shes just a dog and will get over it. They did not ask for a dog only compensate because they love you and you have one. I work too long to have to deal with anymore issues or responsibilities. Regards. My family always let the dogs stay inside. In my experience, if you both dont see pets in the same light, I am fearful for you, that this pet will only cause more issues than your own happiness in this relationship, especially if you will be far away from family and friends. He treats her the same as yours does his dog. You still need to feed them and walk them before youre able to take care of your own needs. Of course we spoiled the crud out of them too. We are expecting twins in January and the animals are not trained around small children and in fact have had incidences with smaller or other animals that resulted in aggression (the adult dog killed the kittens left unattended at their previous residence). I recall another day where she told the dog I love you a total of 26 times, when our child and myself were in the same room, nothin. But not go above the line. WHITE WIRY AWFUL HAIR. Like gaming addiction its relatively new but growing fast (for a list of serious mental issues look to the fast-growth industries in terms of dollars). I finally had to put her to sleep and say goodbye. He leaved in the house with him before we got married and then moved the dog to the garage, shortly after. The dog doesnt bark insistently. It is downright disgusting. Then you can adjust the procedure that needs to follow based on the requirements stated by the dog behaviorist. Out of the 6 rescues I had, they lived a long life and began passing away. Completely agree, do people really not realize that their human is there for life? If my husband would meet me halfway and at least hold the baby long enough for me to take the dog out then he wouldnt have the occasional accident now. IT wants all of his attention all the time. Come on! I feel your pain. He has said I have to get rid of my dog. My wife and I have disagreements about our dogs, but in the end its resolved because we have boundaries. I believe people who let their animals do these things are harbouring their own issues with people and secretly enjoying the pretend power their out of control mutts are giving them. Youre better off without him and dont deserve that. Your family are people and they obviously know you better than your dog; your ex sounds lucky to be rid of you. It didnt matter if it was a little one which we bought her or the big one we used for travel with our older dog. Like you said, everyone ignores the fact that different dogs are bred for different reasons. If she needs the vet or nails trimmed, I transport her there and pay with his money. Its a toxic environment that is not good for anyone. Friendships may be a different story in some special circumstances, but it should be a no-brainer when you love someone. She has about 7 years left of her life so this is a very big commitment. 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Media we expose ourselves to does not always promote reality needs to that!
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